I wrote this piece on January 1, 2024, and published it on my private Instagram account, but I want to share it with you all. Not that this one was too intimate for me not to post on a public platform; however, this one was more of a ramble, which I was sure only a few would understand or relate to. (Well, as I write this down, this is the first time I tried to think of what the readers would think of my writing. Sighs. When did this all get to me? Why am I increasingly afraid of letting my heart out in the open? Is this the part of adulting everyone talks about? Anyways. Here goes nothing. A piece of my mind on New Year.).
Happy New Year, everyone! May 2024 be another kind and forgiving year for us all to learn, thrive, love, and persevere. Do you know how New Year is the only time people come up with the annual resolutions of achieving this, making that, doing this, breaking whatnot, etc.? But it’s been two years since the last time I made one myself.
Wait, no, I did make one each year! It was to stay alive and live.
Yes, to stay alive and live. (Kinda weird, I know) Hey, a funny TMI: Since March 2020, I lived throughout each day on autopilot most of the time. And it’s not like I wouldn’t say I liked that. Instead, I am feeling… rather… grateful. My autopilot saved me much time from unnecessary dramas and battles in my head, but sometimes, I just thought I could have lived more if I had let myself genuinely live. (Now, don’t ask me the deep stuff like “So, what does ‘to truly live’ mean?” because I am still, in fact, figuring this out.) Hence, 2023 was the year I tried to take control. I dared myself to do many new things from my mundane routine, and I reckon by now I can say that… I did enjoy my life in 2023!
2023 was surprisingly quite full of expected and unexpected events that led me to meet various new faces, personalities, and stories (you know who you are!). Looking back, I started 2023 off on the wrong foot (cfm. that one video of me crying on January 1, 2023), but a bad start doesn’t necessarily mean a bad journey, correct? Just like a bad day doesn’t mean a bad life. My last day of 2023 was full of laughs and contentment, and I loved everything. So, I liked 2023.
Then, I believe I started 2024 more easily than I did 2023, although I caught a cold immediately (it was horrible!), but that’s that. I am now staring at the foggy and unknown roads of 2024 ahead of me with anticipation as well as excitement with a sprinkle of teeny-tiny anxiety here and there, reassuring myself that it is only natural for me to fear the unknown, yet not secluding myself from the possible opportunities of something unusual of my day-to-day activities.
In this new year, I wish that whatever comes my way this year will help me become:
- Wiser to pick out what’s good for me and what’s not;
- Braver to open up and let myself be nurtured by the seemingly bad but turns out good for me kind of things; and
- Kinder to myself in processing anything and everything because the one who hurt me the most is me.
A new year does not mark the beginning of a brand-new chapter of my life. Every morning I wake up, and every step I take is the evidence of my life; a fresh new chapter begins every time, and I am the main character of my life. So, for that sole reason, I want to remind you all that the love of your life should be the love of your life.
Hopefully, we will not count 2024 as one of those years we regret.
I wish you all the best of luck in 2024, everyone!
